So, here we are. After a few weeks of picking apart what others are doing right/wrong, I am now focusing on my own future. I'm going to use this blog installment to layout some of my plans for job shadowing in the next year, and to focus on some of the expectations of the dental schools to which I will soon be applying. Then, I want to stack myself up against these expectations to see how I measure up. I hope this proves to be a learning experience for all of us!
While finding shadowing opportunities might be difficult for some, I am fortunate enough to know many dentists in my hometown personally. I'm sure that I don't quite appreciate the immense blessing that this is for me - but I am seeing it in a greater light daily. Job shadowing in these dental offices gives me a number of benefits. First, I get a hands-on experience. Dental schools appreciate this, but I think it is even more important to me as a student and future dentist. Secondly, and I get closer to those professionals beside whom I could potentially find myself working in the near future. As dentists, young graduates often work under more experienced professionals for a number of years to build clientele and overall credibility.
So, here are the 4 places with which I am thankful to have shadowing opportunities:
1. Tillery Dental Clinic, Hattiesburg, MS. [under Dr. John Chandler, DMD]
http://www.tillerydental.com/contact-us/hattiesburg-office.asp
2. The Office of Dr. Terry A. Lambert, DDS [Or possibly Dr. Emily L. Harden]
http://www.yellowpages.com/hattiesburg-ms/mip/lambert-terry-a-dr-16887795
3. The Office of Dr. Fred H. Drews, DDS
http://www.yellowpagesgoesgreen.org/Hattiesburg-MS/Drews+Fred+H+Dr+III/94797
4. Baker & Graham Dental, Dr. William C. Baker Jr., DDS and Dr. Erik G. Graham, DMD
http://bakerandgraham.com/
These are some of the most prestigious dental offices in Hattiesburg, and maybe even the nicest in Mississippi. They are expecting job shadowers that are professional in both conduct and appearance. Serious students with serious goals. Adults who are not only dressed for the part, but who excel in communication and thinking on their feet. Although during job shadowing, I will not be asked to perform real medical tasks, these doctors have all expressed a desire to keep their students "on their toes" by asking critical, spontaneous questions and expecting outside study.
Ok, now that the shadowing opportunities have been presented and organized, I want to continue by listing some of the expectations of the admissions staff at any given school of dentistry. After researching at both the University of Mississippi Medical Center and the Louisiana State University School of Dentistry (where I plan to apply) [and also with the help of my pre-professional advisor, Dr. Patricia Biesiot] I have compiled the following list of criteria for potential dental students.
[ in order of importance]
1. Competitive DAT (dental admissions test) score. (17 or higher)
2. Grades: High cumulative GPA (above 3.4), and high MCBP [math/chem/bio/phys] GPA (above 3.5)
3. Volunteer work/community service
4. Good language/communication skills
5. Experience/Job Shadowing
6. Signs of maturity and responsible character
Now's the part when I insert myself into each of these criteria to see where there is room for improvement. This will help me to form an effective personal statement, and to find areas of potential growth.
1. DAT Score: I have taken the DAT once (I was unwitting of how terribly difficult it is!) and I made a 17. This is the average score. I am hopeful now, knowing the nature of the test, that with proper study I could greatly improve this score. Some sources say this is the most crucial of factors for admittance, but I know students who have been admitted with scores lower than mine. Basically, it is about the entire package as a whole. If you are a genius, but you lack basic people skills, your interview (which some say counts 60% of your chances) will greatly suffer. It's about being competitive on every account.
2. GPA: Unfortunately, when I first started college I messed up (like so many do) and dropped my GPA to 3.0. I know, some people would die for that score, but it won't cut if for me! Thankfully, this is only my GPA at USM. Cumulatively, my GPA is around 3.75. I have been working very hard since I came back to school. I have raised my USM GPA from a 3.0 to a 3.3 as well. My MCBP GPA is somewhere around 3.88. I'm proud of these numbers and I hope to see more improvement as I close in on graduation. My goal is 3.9 in both GPA's.
3. Volunteer work: This is something I love. I love doing volunteer work, but as everyone knows, it's hard to fit this kind of work into a busy schedule. I am very fortunate to have moved to South America right after my high school graduation. I moved to Bogota, Colombia and worked in a church's charity kitchen for almost 2 years. Apart from small things here and there, I feel like this is an awesome thing (in the literal sense) to have on my resume. It was definitely an awesome thing for my life personally.
4. Language/Communication: While I was living in South America, I became fluent in Spanish. This priceless gift has benefited me so many times already, and I am proud to say I can speak Spanish. Apart from knowing Spanish, I have a lot of experience with acting and drama. In high school, I participated in numerous competitions and plays. It is something I will never regret, even if I was labeled a "drama geek." While I might not list my meager acting experience on my resume, I am sure it will help me during my interview. I, of course, will not be acting during this interview, but I feel acting has helped improve my people skills immensely. My knowledge of Spanish, however, will definitely go on the resume as I feel it will give me a definite advantage.
5. Shadowing/Experience: As stated above, I have big plans for job shadowing. I plan on having 30+ hours of job shadowing prior to any interview for admission. I already have at least 30 hours of shadowing in the operating rooms of many different ophthalmologists. While I know I am not applying to ophthalmology school, I am sure the admissions staff will appreciate the fact that I have a lot of experience with sanitary technique and surgical etiquette.
6. Sings of maturity: Currently, I am a full-time student. That might not seem like much at first glance, but when you take into account the fact that I am married with two kids, and that I own a house and two cars - I would hope some semblance of responsibility would be conveyed. I am not currently employed because I am taking this opportunity to be my kids' babysitter ever chance I get. I know that when I get into dentistry school, I won't have near as much time, so I am investing as much quality time as possible now. As I have previously stated on my blog, I want the admissions staff to rightly lump me into the "non-traditional student" stereotype. I am doing all of this, not just because it will fulfill many of my life's professional goals, but because I am willing to do whatever it takes for my family. I will study hard, work hard, stay up late, go overtime - you name it. No, I am not the president of any interest groups on campus, but I have a family that depends on me.
There you have it. I think I am well on my way to a successful application to dental school, but that doesn't mean I'm cocky. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to improve my chances of being accepted.
I feel like I could be a great dentist for many reasons.
1. I am good with my hands. I have always excelled at the arts and music.
I have trained my hands to be accurate and my eyes (and ears) to be scrutinizing. I know how to use my hands to produce what my mind sees.
2. Tedious tasks do not bother me. Working on small and complicated tasks is not taxing for me.
3. I am people person. I have always had the ability to make those around me feel comfortable.
4. I love science. I love knowing how things work and understanding how all the different pieces of a puzzle fit together.
5. I have had a lot of dental work done! I know what a relief it is to have tooth pain relieved. I also know how much a patient appreciates a dentist who is kind and gentle. I have been in the chair many times. I believe I understand what a patient needs apart from just dentistry.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Website Evaluation: Robertkeeley.com
The website I have chosen to evaluate is one that I am fairly familiar with. Robert Keeley is considered by many to be THE man who created the market for "boutique guitar effect pedals." My favorite pastime is playing guitar, and I am also a big fan of trading/flipping guitar gear on the internet through interest forums etc... I understand that this does not have anything to do with my major (Biological Sciences) but - it is something I feel I can comment on and understand very well. Robert Keeley is a very nice man, I know this because he frequents the forums I participate in. He runs a small, tight ship of "pedal-builders" and although he is known worldwide for his products, he is very reachable and even takes phone calls.
I believe his website is a good candidate for analysis because he would probably listen my advice humbly whether or not he acted upon it.
The website address is www.robertkeeley.com
Analysis
Dear Mr. Keeley,
My name is Alex May, I have played guitar for nearly 12 years and I am very familiar with your work. I recently visited your website and I wanted to humbly submit a few pieces of advice for your consideration. I believe the advice in this letter would positively impact the effectiveness of your website. I want to start by stating that I admire your work very much. I have not only tested your products, I have seen them being used by the biggest names in showbiz. This being the case, I hope you take my advice from a positive standpoint, knowing that I would never seek to overly criticize you or your crew. As a fan, I am only trying to help.
The first thing I want to address is the layout of the website as a whole. I guess the main example what I would consider some of the odd formatting of the website is the initial logo page that appears when you first enter robertkeeley.com. While offset logos and "click to enter" pages are fine, there are a few things that stick out to me. The slideshow link not being centered is strange to me, but I could get past that if I didn't suddenly realize there was a lot of empty space to the right of the screen and under the slideshow as well. A simple way of improving this page would be to center the slideshow and somehow omit all the empty space underneath. I think the best solution, however, would be to totally redesign the entrance page with a flash animation slideshow, a dark colored background (more on this later) and some sort of text block that cycles through a number of slogans and quotes from positive reviews.
Here is an example of a stylish and effective flash animation slideshow:
www.this1smyne.com
Here is an example of pictures that are cycling along with slogans and quotes from reviews:
www.strymon.net
So, moving on to the next formatting issue. After clicking the pictures on the entrance screen, we are faced with a homepage that is very awkward looking. The primary (left most) menu bar is almost indistinguishable from the background graphics and the secondary and tertiary menus are plain text. Some of the tertiary menu options even extend into other graphics on the page. I think the layout of the product displays on the homepage is fine, along with the section where the "news" goes. I believe that concept is perfect, however, there are a few lurking issues that I will tackle later. One of the main things that sticks out as odd to me is the "menu" of sorts at the right of the screen. I understand the idea of having pictures of all of these pedals there for people to browse through and click on, but it doesn't look very professional. The pictures are not exactly uniform and they extend far beyond the content of the page, again creating a large, awkward empty space at the bottom of the screen.
I would advise creating a page format for your website that includes a simple backdrop that makes the text standout, drop down menus, and again - clever use of flash animations to incorporate some of those picture links.
A good example of what I am describing can be seen here:
www.subdecay.com
Alright, apart from formatting (where stuff goes and how it looks there) I can spy a few more areas for improvement, mainly appearance (in as much as graphics and colors, etc... are concerned). For starters, the overall color scheme of the website (light blue, gray, black) seems to complicate the layout of your pages. Instead of links, menus and titles popping out and being clear, they are hidden and mixed up with the colors of the graphics and background. This is helped by the fact that all of the fonts on the webpage seem to be as small as possible while still being slightly legible. This could be a problem for your customers who are older. Apart from older customers, the small text is still a deterrent from people reading the content of your pages. While on the subject of style, I have to mention the circuit board graphics that cover the website. I definitely think they are appropriate because of what you are selling and the audience immediately gets the hint, but they do seem a bit dated. Simple changes like, choosing basic colors (black, white, royal blue), increasing font size can make a huge difference in the enjoyability of one's visit to your website. The graphics, in my opinion, could be omitted entirely and replaced with a reworked, modern logo. I believe this "stripping down" and reworking would be a breath of fresh air for your visitors.
The last thing I wanted to mention was that I believe your website is only "really" compatible with certain screen resolutions. I run 1280x800 and I think only makes the empty spaces on the website bigger. I am not as well versed as I used to be concerning the latest methods of building websites, but I do know that there are ways around resolution issues these days.
I know it sounds like a lot, and I am sorry if everything I've said sounds a bit harsh, but I assure you my intentions are for your good. Unfortunately, my suggestions amount to the fact that I believe the entire appearance of your website needs a lot of work, but I am pleased to say your content (as far as writing, news, product information, etc...) is spot on. Your products speak for themselves and your reputation is essentially spotless! These things will ultimately determine your success, but an effective and attractive website would do you well as you continue to bring new innovations to the guitar electronics world.
Thank you again for your time,
Alex May
I believe his website is a good candidate for analysis because he would probably listen my advice humbly whether or not he acted upon it.
The website address is www.robertkeeley.com
Analysis
Dear Mr. Keeley,
My name is Alex May, I have played guitar for nearly 12 years and I am very familiar with your work. I recently visited your website and I wanted to humbly submit a few pieces of advice for your consideration. I believe the advice in this letter would positively impact the effectiveness of your website. I want to start by stating that I admire your work very much. I have not only tested your products, I have seen them being used by the biggest names in showbiz. This being the case, I hope you take my advice from a positive standpoint, knowing that I would never seek to overly criticize you or your crew. As a fan, I am only trying to help.
The first thing I want to address is the layout of the website as a whole. I guess the main example what I would consider some of the odd formatting of the website is the initial logo page that appears when you first enter robertkeeley.com. While offset logos and "click to enter" pages are fine, there are a few things that stick out to me. The slideshow link not being centered is strange to me, but I could get past that if I didn't suddenly realize there was a lot of empty space to the right of the screen and under the slideshow as well. A simple way of improving this page would be to center the slideshow and somehow omit all the empty space underneath. I think the best solution, however, would be to totally redesign the entrance page with a flash animation slideshow, a dark colored background (more on this later) and some sort of text block that cycles through a number of slogans and quotes from positive reviews.
Here is an example of a stylish and effective flash animation slideshow:
www.this1smyne.com
Here is an example of pictures that are cycling along with slogans and quotes from reviews:
www.strymon.net
So, moving on to the next formatting issue. After clicking the pictures on the entrance screen, we are faced with a homepage that is very awkward looking. The primary (left most) menu bar is almost indistinguishable from the background graphics and the secondary and tertiary menus are plain text. Some of the tertiary menu options even extend into other graphics on the page. I think the layout of the product displays on the homepage is fine, along with the section where the "news" goes. I believe that concept is perfect, however, there are a few lurking issues that I will tackle later. One of the main things that sticks out as odd to me is the "menu" of sorts at the right of the screen. I understand the idea of having pictures of all of these pedals there for people to browse through and click on, but it doesn't look very professional. The pictures are not exactly uniform and they extend far beyond the content of the page, again creating a large, awkward empty space at the bottom of the screen.
I would advise creating a page format for your website that includes a simple backdrop that makes the text standout, drop down menus, and again - clever use of flash animations to incorporate some of those picture links.
A good example of what I am describing can be seen here:
www.subdecay.com
Alright, apart from formatting (where stuff goes and how it looks there) I can spy a few more areas for improvement, mainly appearance (in as much as graphics and colors, etc... are concerned). For starters, the overall color scheme of the website (light blue, gray, black) seems to complicate the layout of your pages. Instead of links, menus and titles popping out and being clear, they are hidden and mixed up with the colors of the graphics and background. This is helped by the fact that all of the fonts on the webpage seem to be as small as possible while still being slightly legible. This could be a problem for your customers who are older. Apart from older customers, the small text is still a deterrent from people reading the content of your pages. While on the subject of style, I have to mention the circuit board graphics that cover the website. I definitely think they are appropriate because of what you are selling and the audience immediately gets the hint, but they do seem a bit dated. Simple changes like, choosing basic colors (black, white, royal blue), increasing font size can make a huge difference in the enjoyability of one's visit to your website. The graphics, in my opinion, could be omitted entirely and replaced with a reworked, modern logo. I believe this "stripping down" and reworking would be a breath of fresh air for your visitors.
The last thing I wanted to mention was that I believe your website is only "really" compatible with certain screen resolutions. I run 1280x800 and I think only makes the empty spaces on the website bigger. I am not as well versed as I used to be concerning the latest methods of building websites, but I do know that there are ways around resolution issues these days.
I know it sounds like a lot, and I am sorry if everything I've said sounds a bit harsh, but I assure you my intentions are for your good. Unfortunately, my suggestions amount to the fact that I believe the entire appearance of your website needs a lot of work, but I am pleased to say your content (as far as writing, news, product information, etc...) is spot on. Your products speak for themselves and your reputation is essentially spotless! These things will ultimately determine your success, but an effective and attractive website would do you well as you continue to bring new innovations to the guitar electronics world.
Thank you again for your time,
Alex May
Monday, June 13, 2011
Persuasive Biological Sciences Department websites (and not so persuasive ones!)
I have been searching around the internet for attractive and effective university biological sciences department websites in preparation for my group website project. I was surprised how underwhelming this task can be. Many universities have department websites that are unattractive and boring. I did, however, find a few good ones. I will break down a couple of my findings from both sides of the spectrum.
First Example: LSU Department of Biological Sciences Rating: poor
Link: http://www.biology.lsu.edu/undergrad/index.html
Just looking at this website for an instant makes me NOT want to be associated with the department or the school for that matter. The layout of the university logo and overall color scheme appear standard, but could use some help in choosing fonts that are more pleasing to the eye. My main problem with the page is that the only pictures seen on the page are 2 unflattering photos of faculty members. One of the photos is even missing and replaced with a space holder. It comes off looking like a page from a 1980's high school year book. The layout of the information on the page is also ineffective because of how small and cramped the text is. The bold headings seem to blend in with the gray/purple color scheme.
I would suggest removing some of the content on the homepage and replacing it with links to more content located in a newly designed, more attractive navigation bar. Another thing missing in this page is a sense of excitement. Where are the students? Where are the articles/pictures of students participating in exciting things? What kind of interesting scientific things is the department taking part in? I am sure if I thought more about it, I could spend all day finding things that aren't right. I think these reasons are sufficient though.
Second Example: Columbia University Department of Biological Sciences Rating: Awesome
Link: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/biology/
Here we have what I consider an awesome department homepage. First, the appearance immediately imparts a feeling of excitement. It is futuristic and simplistic in design. There are no unnecessary additions to the homepage. I think this design gives the reader (a prospective student) the feeling that if they participate in what this department is offering, they will be riding the wave of the future (if you will). The page is filled with cleverly designed links to research that the department is involved in. This makes people feel like the professors and faculty are not just boring teachers, they are scientists working on the "next big thing." In my opinion, the colors, fonts and menu system are very attractive and useful. This theme continues as you enter the different sections of the website.
So, although I trust LSU is a wonderful university that produces talented scientists, I believe their website is severely lacking. The funny thing is that my opinion is almost entirely based on layout and design. It has nothing to do with the content on the website. I think it just goes to show how important aesthetics can be. Great website filled with wonderful information can be entirely overlooked without an attractive layout.
If it were up to me, I would create a website more like Columbia's department website, only I would include more actual pictures of students participating in interesting scientific activities. I would also include a secondary careers page. This page would list all sorts of different careers that Biology students might consider after graduating. I would include pictures, statistics and charts. There would also be secondary links on the page for further research once students found something that caught their attention. I think I would try to balance the website between two themes. The first theme/goal is that there are many exciting careers that you would ENJOY. I think if people saw (even at a glance) the wide array of careers that were available it would be very useful. I would want to encourage students to study and work for something they love and not just study for the sake of going to college or getting a nice job. Once the student is excited and encouraged by some of the content, I want to make sure that the website is very very easy to navigate. I believe websites should be ordered. The homepage, the first page you see, should be the easiest to navigate. It should be clear and uncluttered. Only a handful of links, and most of all a beautiful design. After that, the pages would gradually increase in content and complexity as you moved deeper into site.
ANSWERS TO SHEET:
OVERALL PURPOSE:
1. What are you writing/creating? A Biological Sciences Department website
2. What prompts you to write? I am attempting to persuade prospective students
3. What outcome do you desire? I want Students to choose the Biological Sciences Major
4. What outcome does your reader desire? The reader desires a major that will be fulfilling and worthwhile.
READER PROFILE:
1. Who is your primary reader? Prospective students and current students
2. What is your reader's relationship to you? They are fellow students
3. What are your reader's job title and responsibilities? Student - responsibilities: studying and choosing a major.
4. Who else might read your communication? Parents of students, teachers, advisors
5. How familiar is your reader with your subject? Possibly very unfamiliar, but most likely has limited prior knowledge
6. How familiar is your reader with your specialty? ""
7. Does your reader have any communication preferences you should take into account? Perhaps creating a supplementary Facebook page could be helpful, otherwise it is too broad a question.
8. Should you take into account any other things about your reader when writing? I would take into account the fact that many students are at a crossroads, wondering what they are going to do with their lives. I would hope the website could provide detailed information about study plans and career choices that the student would find desirable and fulfilling.
SITUATIONAL ANALYSIS
1. What events and circumstances influence the way you should write?
Like I said, the crossroad that students face can be intimidating. The website needs to balance an attempt at easing this stress while still putting forth a professional image. The student needs to feel like this is for them and this would be worth their time and effort. Students also need to feel challenged when faced with this crossroads. I've always heard it said, "You don't take something you paid for for granted." That's not speaking about money. It means the website should make it seem like this is for them, but it will take all of their efforts and it will pay off.
USABILITY OBJECTIVES (reader's tasks)
1. What are the key questions your reader will ask while reading?
Is this major for me? What can I do once I graduate? Will I enjoy this? Is it worth my time?
2. How will your reader search for the answer?
-By following a logical flow based on suggestions and links located in a easy to read navigation bar
3. How will the reader use the information you provide?
-Attempt to determine how the information you provide will affect him or her
PERSUASIVE OBJECTIVES (Reader's attitudes)
1. What is your reader's attitude toward your subject? Why? What do you want it to be?
The reader is most likely open to suggestions for a major. The student is curious because he wonders if this major is for him.
2. What is your reader's attitude toward you? Why? What do you want it to be?
I am hoping the reader's attitude is open to the information I have provided because of the layout, design and honest approach. I want the student to honestly consider this major.
STAKEHOLDERS
1. Who, besides your readers, are stakeholders in your communication?
University Faculty and Students
2. How will they be affected by it?
The faculty and the current students are all stakeholders as they will be indirectly affected by the success or failure of this website to persuade new students. Less students means less funding, etc...
CONSTRAINTS
1. What expectation, regulations or other factors limit the way you can write?
The webpage must adhere to all university guidelines and must be acceptable and non-offensive to all people groups.
When looking at these websites, I was quite surprised at how much the design/appearance of the websites affected my opinions of them. The material in both pages was great. Both schools are time-tested universities with great reputations, but a website means a lot these days. Not having a nice website can really hurt you attempts at reaching new audiences. During our group project, I hope that I can have a hand in making sure the appearance of our documents is up to par.
First Example: LSU Department of Biological Sciences Rating: poor
Link: http://www.biology.lsu.edu/undergrad/index.html
Just looking at this website for an instant makes me NOT want to be associated with the department or the school for that matter. The layout of the university logo and overall color scheme appear standard, but could use some help in choosing fonts that are more pleasing to the eye. My main problem with the page is that the only pictures seen on the page are 2 unflattering photos of faculty members. One of the photos is even missing and replaced with a space holder. It comes off looking like a page from a 1980's high school year book. The layout of the information on the page is also ineffective because of how small and cramped the text is. The bold headings seem to blend in with the gray/purple color scheme.
I would suggest removing some of the content on the homepage and replacing it with links to more content located in a newly designed, more attractive navigation bar. Another thing missing in this page is a sense of excitement. Where are the students? Where are the articles/pictures of students participating in exciting things? What kind of interesting scientific things is the department taking part in? I am sure if I thought more about it, I could spend all day finding things that aren't right. I think these reasons are sufficient though.
Second Example: Columbia University Department of Biological Sciences Rating: Awesome
Link: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/biology/
Here we have what I consider an awesome department homepage. First, the appearance immediately imparts a feeling of excitement. It is futuristic and simplistic in design. There are no unnecessary additions to the homepage. I think this design gives the reader (a prospective student) the feeling that if they participate in what this department is offering, they will be riding the wave of the future (if you will). The page is filled with cleverly designed links to research that the department is involved in. This makes people feel like the professors and faculty are not just boring teachers, they are scientists working on the "next big thing." In my opinion, the colors, fonts and menu system are very attractive and useful. This theme continues as you enter the different sections of the website.
So, although I trust LSU is a wonderful university that produces talented scientists, I believe their website is severely lacking. The funny thing is that my opinion is almost entirely based on layout and design. It has nothing to do with the content on the website. I think it just goes to show how important aesthetics can be. Great website filled with wonderful information can be entirely overlooked without an attractive layout.
If it were up to me, I would create a website more like Columbia's department website, only I would include more actual pictures of students participating in interesting scientific activities. I would also include a secondary careers page. This page would list all sorts of different careers that Biology students might consider after graduating. I would include pictures, statistics and charts. There would also be secondary links on the page for further research once students found something that caught their attention. I think I would try to balance the website between two themes. The first theme/goal is that there are many exciting careers that you would ENJOY. I think if people saw (even at a glance) the wide array of careers that were available it would be very useful. I would want to encourage students to study and work for something they love and not just study for the sake of going to college or getting a nice job. Once the student is excited and encouraged by some of the content, I want to make sure that the website is very very easy to navigate. I believe websites should be ordered. The homepage, the first page you see, should be the easiest to navigate. It should be clear and uncluttered. Only a handful of links, and most of all a beautiful design. After that, the pages would gradually increase in content and complexity as you moved deeper into site.
ANSWERS TO SHEET:
OVERALL PURPOSE:
1. What are you writing/creating? A Biological Sciences Department website
2. What prompts you to write? I am attempting to persuade prospective students
3. What outcome do you desire? I want Students to choose the Biological Sciences Major
4. What outcome does your reader desire? The reader desires a major that will be fulfilling and worthwhile.
READER PROFILE:
1. Who is your primary reader? Prospective students and current students
2. What is your reader's relationship to you? They are fellow students
3. What are your reader's job title and responsibilities? Student - responsibilities: studying and choosing a major.
4. Who else might read your communication? Parents of students, teachers, advisors
5. How familiar is your reader with your subject? Possibly very unfamiliar, but most likely has limited prior knowledge
6. How familiar is your reader with your specialty? ""
7. Does your reader have any communication preferences you should take into account? Perhaps creating a supplementary Facebook page could be helpful, otherwise it is too broad a question.
8. Should you take into account any other things about your reader when writing? I would take into account the fact that many students are at a crossroads, wondering what they are going to do with their lives. I would hope the website could provide detailed information about study plans and career choices that the student would find desirable and fulfilling.
SITUATIONAL ANALYSIS
1. What events and circumstances influence the way you should write?
Like I said, the crossroad that students face can be intimidating. The website needs to balance an attempt at easing this stress while still putting forth a professional image. The student needs to feel like this is for them and this would be worth their time and effort. Students also need to feel challenged when faced with this crossroads. I've always heard it said, "You don't take something you paid for for granted." That's not speaking about money. It means the website should make it seem like this is for them, but it will take all of their efforts and it will pay off.
USABILITY OBJECTIVES (reader's tasks)
1. What are the key questions your reader will ask while reading?
Is this major for me? What can I do once I graduate? Will I enjoy this? Is it worth my time?
2. How will your reader search for the answer?
-By following a logical flow based on suggestions and links located in a easy to read navigation bar
3. How will the reader use the information you provide?
-Attempt to determine how the information you provide will affect him or her
PERSUASIVE OBJECTIVES (Reader's attitudes)
1. What is your reader's attitude toward your subject? Why? What do you want it to be?
The reader is most likely open to suggestions for a major. The student is curious because he wonders if this major is for him.
2. What is your reader's attitude toward you? Why? What do you want it to be?
I am hoping the reader's attitude is open to the information I have provided because of the layout, design and honest approach. I want the student to honestly consider this major.
STAKEHOLDERS
1. Who, besides your readers, are stakeholders in your communication?
University Faculty and Students
2. How will they be affected by it?
The faculty and the current students are all stakeholders as they will be indirectly affected by the success or failure of this website to persuade new students. Less students means less funding, etc...
CONSTRAINTS
1. What expectation, regulations or other factors limit the way you can write?
The webpage must adhere to all university guidelines and must be acceptable and non-offensive to all people groups.
When looking at these websites, I was quite surprised at how much the design/appearance of the websites affected my opinions of them. The material in both pages was great. Both schools are time-tested universities with great reputations, but a website means a lot these days. Not having a nice website can really hurt you attempts at reaching new audiences. During our group project, I hope that I can have a hand in making sure the appearance of our documents is up to par.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Analyzing a Rhetorical Situation
Since I am not called on to read much in my current major (Biology), I have decided to use this blog post analyze the paper that I am actually writing about in my project. I guess I am using this as a sort of brainstorm session for my project, but I will take it seriously none the less (well, however seriously one can take a blog).
Here is a copy of the actual text being analyzed:
Goal Statement: Alexander May
My goals have radically changed in the past three years. Before I got married, my professional goals were set very low. I was not concerned with providing for anyone but myself. All I really cared about was music and art. This all changed, however, with the advent of a wife and child. Suddenly life was not about me anymore, and I was forced to respond to the great responsibility set before me. All of these things ultimately guided me to choose the profession of orthodontics. When I began taking classes again, I knew almost instantly that I wanted to be a medical professional because of the potential for positive impact on the patients being helped. I began to do research to try and find what most intrigued me. I wanted a medical career that would satisfy my needs and interests including manual dexterity, artistic thought, lasting positive impact, family time, and provision for my family.
The field of orthodontics fulfills every personal desire I have as a professional adult, husband, and father. I am well aware of the difficulties associated with this career choice, and I feel the benefits far outweigh the cost. I can imagine nothing better than doing what I love while improving the self worth of my patients and providing for my family.
Specifically, I plan on graduating from the University of Southern Mississippi with an undergraduate degree in Biological Sciences in 2012. After obtaining my bachelor’s degree, the next step would be for me to attend the school of dentistry at the University of Mississippi Medical Center for three to four years. Once I graduate, the last step in my education would be to enter the orthodontics residency at the University of Alabama to obtain accreditation as an Orthodontist. So far, I would like to build my practice in Hattiesburg, MS.
Analysis: (assuming I don't know I wrote the paper to whom it was written)
It can be almost immediately inferred that this paper is being with written in hopes of winning over the audience. The author is attempting to prove his genuine character to the reader who is likely tied to the author's stated career goals as a dentist. We see that the author (Alex) is a non-traditional student who has come to understand what the important things in life really are. I can see Alex playing on the preconceived notion that adults who are parents, who back to school, are very hardworking and can handle the stress that life throws at them. This is not to discredit his character nor to say that he is being manipulative, rather it shows effectiveness in utilizing his story to appeal to his audience.
A natural progression can be followed in this goal statement. The statement begins with a foundational, heroic, "I have to do something for my family"- type of motivation. The statement then progresses into a more focused motivation based on Alex's interests. This is an important step because it conveys a sense that Alex isn't just "doing it for the money." The mettle of his true motivation is capped with phrases like, "I can imagine nothing better than doing what I love while improving the self worth of my patients and providing for my family." With this statement, Alex is covering a lot of ground. He is saying, "I want to do this because I like it, it's good for others, and it's good for my family." I don't see any real need to change this first section of the paper. We find Alex in the middle of this journey; his goals are set, and from this point he proceeds to detail his plans for achieving said goals. My only real critique, is that after he so eloquently draws you into his admirable goals, the second half of the statement leaves the reader cold. Alex used the goals to draw the audience in so they would trust his character, then the plans he laid down were just that - boring plans. The statement makes an uncomfortable turn from letting you in to Alex's story, to a drawn out section of "I plan to do this, this, this, this and that" and that's where it cuts off. If I were the writer, I would add at least one more page of information regarding why I think I am fit for dentistry in a practical sense, using more background history. I think the statement should end with the same type of warm language and tone as was used in the first part of his goal statement. This keeps the reader from feeling cut off and makes the statement seem more well-rounded. Upon reading and re-reading this statement, some of the phrases that the author used may begin to sound a bit cliche, but I believe the initial impression is a good one. Knowing that the office of admissions at many schools sees many letters like this every day, the quick onset of a good first impression is necessary to stand out. With a few minor changes and bit more length, this paper would be all the more convincing.
-Alex May
Here is a copy of the actual text being analyzed:
Goal Statement: Alexander May
My goals have radically changed in the past three years. Before I got married, my professional goals were set very low. I was not concerned with providing for anyone but myself. All I really cared about was music and art. This all changed, however, with the advent of a wife and child. Suddenly life was not about me anymore, and I was forced to respond to the great responsibility set before me. All of these things ultimately guided me to choose the profession of orthodontics. When I began taking classes again, I knew almost instantly that I wanted to be a medical professional because of the potential for positive impact on the patients being helped. I began to do research to try and find what most intrigued me. I wanted a medical career that would satisfy my needs and interests including manual dexterity, artistic thought, lasting positive impact, family time, and provision for my family.
The field of orthodontics fulfills every personal desire I have as a professional adult, husband, and father. I am well aware of the difficulties associated with this career choice, and I feel the benefits far outweigh the cost. I can imagine nothing better than doing what I love while improving the self worth of my patients and providing for my family.
Specifically, I plan on graduating from the University of Southern Mississippi with an undergraduate degree in Biological Sciences in 2012. After obtaining my bachelor’s degree, the next step would be for me to attend the school of dentistry at the University of Mississippi Medical Center for three to four years. Once I graduate, the last step in my education would be to enter the orthodontics residency at the University of Alabama to obtain accreditation as an Orthodontist. So far, I would like to build my practice in Hattiesburg, MS.
Analysis: (assuming I don't know I wrote the paper to whom it was written)
It can be almost immediately inferred that this paper is being with written in hopes of winning over the audience. The author is attempting to prove his genuine character to the reader who is likely tied to the author's stated career goals as a dentist. We see that the author (Alex) is a non-traditional student who has come to understand what the important things in life really are. I can see Alex playing on the preconceived notion that adults who are parents, who back to school, are very hardworking and can handle the stress that life throws at them. This is not to discredit his character nor to say that he is being manipulative, rather it shows effectiveness in utilizing his story to appeal to his audience.
A natural progression can be followed in this goal statement. The statement begins with a foundational, heroic, "I have to do something for my family"- type of motivation. The statement then progresses into a more focused motivation based on Alex's interests. This is an important step because it conveys a sense that Alex isn't just "doing it for the money." The mettle of his true motivation is capped with phrases like, "I can imagine nothing better than doing what I love while improving the self worth of my patients and providing for my family." With this statement, Alex is covering a lot of ground. He is saying, "I want to do this because I like it, it's good for others, and it's good for my family." I don't see any real need to change this first section of the paper. We find Alex in the middle of this journey; his goals are set, and from this point he proceeds to detail his plans for achieving said goals. My only real critique, is that after he so eloquently draws you into his admirable goals, the second half of the statement leaves the reader cold. Alex used the goals to draw the audience in so they would trust his character, then the plans he laid down were just that - boring plans. The statement makes an uncomfortable turn from letting you in to Alex's story, to a drawn out section of "I plan to do this, this, this, this and that" and that's where it cuts off. If I were the writer, I would add at least one more page of information regarding why I think I am fit for dentistry in a practical sense, using more background history. I think the statement should end with the same type of warm language and tone as was used in the first part of his goal statement. This keeps the reader from feeling cut off and makes the statement seem more well-rounded. Upon reading and re-reading this statement, some of the phrases that the author used may begin to sound a bit cliche, but I believe the initial impression is a good one. Knowing that the office of admissions at many schools sees many letters like this every day, the quick onset of a good first impression is necessary to stand out. With a few minor changes and bit more length, this paper would be all the more convincing.
-Alex May
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